Dealing with ME

I will eventually have some advertising on my site .. I will post my website for Origami Owl,. I am an independent Designer and I'm going to share something my fellow direct sales person wrote about our industry. 'Let's get something straight. A pyramid scheme is illegal. STOP saying that hard working people in direct sales and multi-level marketing are in a pyramid scheme. KNOW THE FACTS. You are talking about people that work hard to support their families, provide for themselves and offer wonderful products and services. We don't get paid from the funds of our team members, THAT is illegal. Our corporate office pays our bonuses, overrides, incentives and we personally make money from our own sales. Stop shaming people that are making an honest living and doing life different from what YOU deem appropriate. Open up that tiny mind just a bit. I don't rant ever ... but THIS will always get me.' - Carrie Burgett (Pure Romance is her job)

If I share something,  I can assure you,  it has the credited site I got the picture,  meme, or whatever it may be on it. If it does not, I will mention that the item is not my design or creation.  As I mention often, I am never sure what to discuss or write about. I spend a lot of energy keeping myself in a calm state of mind.. and as some of my imported posts mention,  music is my therapy.. and like I've said before,  do not just stop any treatment you are doing to help you, to do what I do. I listen to music constantly at work, and at home, I do play it, if it's not my babe playing her favorite songs on our home mini we have. Cause,  then it's jam time, dancing, singing & shaking our ponytails 🙂 that's how we roll .. Again, please, be kind, we do not know the struggles of others .. I struggle to be kind on a daily basis,  but I do my best .. 

Telling my stepmom about more of my life before joining our family in 1985, helped her better understand me .. and why I am the way I am .. don't be quick to judge others 

This is about how I feel for this year 

Still here .. I am a firm believer in a higher power, along with mother nature.. you have to find your own balance of the 2. I have found what works for me.. do not judge others, because their "normal" clashes with yours. It is not our place to judge one another, because we were all raised differently.. more love, less hate .. 

Starting porting over a few more posts from my other site,  I realized,  I can't do it .. there is almost another 6 months worth of posts to move .. I have the file downloaded.. I'm good .. and it's not worth my sanity & anxiety to do it ... 

Some of the previous posts may be a bit out of order .. and that's okay ... again, I copied/ pasted from my other hosting site .. went back & added some dates..but the majority of my posts are not current, they are from 2019 ... 

Anxiety sucks, as does dealing with the smallest things frustrating you.. for the most part I'm okay when I'm working, it's when I get home, that I tend to get grouchy. Grouchy, that's a good way to put it, goes beyond that. But, when you get ignored about something you have talked about on more than 1 occasion.. 🤷‍♀️ .. I am perfectly imperfect.. I still struggle with posting everyday 😔. I'm 6 days between this time .. smh .. I guess I need to set a reminder .. Our Saturday trip to the Newport Aquarium, in Kentucky.. we had so much fun .. remember, teach love & tolerance, don't let your kids be mean to others for no reason 💜💚  (7.9.2019)

The overthinking isn't as bad as the overwhelmed part. Again, another evening of feeling rushed, even though, bless my husband for dinner out with the kids. I just get overwhelmed by trying to a working female with a family. I work about 45 hours a week, plus come home & do most of the domestic duties of the house. My husband has the hardest part of entertaining our youngest so I can get things done. I get very manic at times, because I have to come home & start doing things around the house, which is when I turn on my pandora & listen to music. Keeping calm as best I can. Then I rush around & I'm wore out, I don't sleep well, which makes things worse.. I'm babbling, I know.. I'm going to rest now .. another time I will return..

At posting enough .. I tell myself to post & I end up forgetting or realize it's super late and I am too tired to sit & type.🤦‍♀️ Coupled with the fact I get distracted and discouraged about a lot of things. When really I probably shouldn't,,but it is what it is.. please drop a line or two to say hi on the contact page.. I do look to see if I have any.. if you're advertising something, not right ..

I was fake, because I have an open view on religious beliefs, as well as having a wide variety of tastes in music. Hence why I waited a few days to post again. To gather my thoughts on such a wonderful enlightenment on myself. We all have our opinions of others, and that's okay. I do try not to be judgmental about others, I don't always succeed, but I do my best. As I said previously, I'm an eclectic when it comes to music, but my preferred genre of music is country. But, I'm not mad at anyone for their opinions, we all have them. I'm not changing because someone doesn't agree with me or understand me as much as they thought. Though I will say this, I thought there was an understanding of agree to disagree, but I guess I was wrong, 🤷‍♀️.. I will keep being me, spread love not hate, try to understand someone else's methods to their madness.. "Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and give it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, fl

Having a headache, too much stuff on the ole cranium and working in the accounting department at your job, not a good mix. That's how my day started out. It continued on throughout the day. And that happens, luckily I have some awesome coworkers who understand when things like this happen. I am able to listen to my music during my work day. It was a good day, the worst part of my day, is not getting things done I want to get done after work. I have constant battles with feeling anxious about small things, and then I get a overwhelming feeling of frustration and that's where I end up getting mean with those around me. And then I find myself trying to calm myself, even if I just get a hug from my man, that can help, along with a hug from my mini me. Please listen to David Driaman's message, we all struggle, I am one of those, I love this song.. You are not alone. I am only sharing something that is from YouTube https://youtu.be/gRGRduyCy_M Don't give up 💚💜 talk about ho

Music, as therapy, imagine that.. I use it on a daily basis, to keep me grounded.. I would explode on people if I wasn't able to listen to music. I am thankful for my love of music, it really does keep me sane, as we like to say at times. I am, at times a walking jukebox, especially if I'm out & I hear just a snippet of a song. I would be in a walking fog had I not realized, for me, music is my antidepressant. And again, this works for me, it is not an option for everyone. Do not quit taking any medication you are currently on, without discussing it with your doctor. If you have an innate love of music, and you want to try 'my therapy', please fully discuss it with your doctor or licensed therapist that you see. Do not do it on your own. I'm sorry, I've not posted daily, I'm trying to get better, it's not easy for me to get it done, sometimes I get discouraged & distracted by things. But I assure you, I'm working on it. Much peace, love &

Am I the only one who struggles more than someone you care about is struggling? That's how I feel today, don't continue to carry on for someone who decides not to be part of a project they started. Or half asses their participation when they decide to be involved. Anyway, you will notice some ads on my site, I need the help to keep my site going. I want to keep this going, and allowing some advertisers to place ads, will help with the cost & maybe even some expansion. Thank you for swinging through.. 💚💜 spread love, not hate..

Okay, so, 1 of my biggest frustrations is those who do not clean up after themselves. Yes, my mother cleans my house, not that my house is dirty, she is just a bit more old fashioned. My house is lived in, with having a whirlwind toddler, I get overwhelmed easily, yes I work a full time job. Then you add in an adult child, who doesn't clean up after themselves, that makes it worse, my husband is allowed to leave a mess, he pays the bills. I wish folks could truly understand what goes on when you have someone in the house that's acts as though they are beyond some things, even when their parent asked them to do something. And being a child of a Marine, who didn't disregard what their parents asked them to do. Yeah, takes everything I have not to snatch someone up. Not going to miss anything when gone off to college in the middle of August.  My anxiety & frustration then turns into taking it out on everyone else.. so it's been an interesting evening for me already...

This was written on 6/8/19, but again site issues, I'm working on it... I have determined that I can not take black cohosh, it's an herbal supplement that is supposed to help with premenopausal issues. But for me, it helps with that, but also makes me more aggravated when I take it. I only discovered this, I've not taken it for well over a week now. I feel a lot more calm. I didn't have this issue when I was taking soy isoflavones for the hot flashes. I guess I'll be dealing with hot flashes more, until I'm able to buy some soy isoflavones again. The wonderful life of pay check to pay check.

It's nice to not have my work aggravate me as much as it once did. 24 years in food service, the last 18, in & out of a management roll of some kind. My aggravation is more things I deal with at home, now that doesn't mean anything is wrong with my relationship. It's just simple things that can set me off, just trying to open something up, trying to clean something up & someone walks around where in cleaning. That's just a few examples of what can cause me aggravation & prompt an episode of anger, over thinking about things usually sets off more of a manic episode. Again, I do not take medication for my bipolar disorder. I deal with it on my own, music is calming for me, and just getting a few minutes to myself also can help as well. Learn to be more open minded about the world, we are made to think for ourselves. My beliefs & opinions are going to be different than yours..

I get irritated rather easily, just about anything can trigger it. I don't shy away from the fact I never really wanted the responsibility of having children. But, as I often say, things happen for a reason, my children are 17 years apart. I started completely over at the age of 40.5, but I have the 2nd for a reason, unbeknownst to me.  With that being said, we all know children test us greatly as parents, relatives, etc. That is a huge trigger for me, I have to constantly remind myself that this little person is learning all the things I know, not to do or do in everyday situations. Side note, do not ever tell your children, something is not possible, something is not real, because that causes them to loose that wonder for life. If they choose not to believe something, that is entirely their decision, not yours to make for them, same as for foods, let them try everything, don't hamper their taste buds. Anyway, folks who don't want to take initiative around their workplace

So, I discovered the last few posts have been hit or miss. And some didn't post, and that happens. So, I was at Sonic Temple Festival this month. Music is seriously a huge part of my life, I had so much fun. Such a relaxing weekend, and quality time with my love. Here's a picture of the front of the stadium as we entered. (Original post May 2019) 

Being congested when it's birthday party day is horrible.. as if things aren't crazy enough & irritating, add this in.. makes for a very frustrating day.. but, will do my best to enjoy it & make sure everyone has fun..

Ya miss me? Nah, I wouldn't either. Lol .. SO, my sanctuary weekend was awesome, got to see quite a few bands. Bands that sang songs I like, but i didn't know who exactly sang the song, yeah.. I love finding out who sing songs I like, this is how bad I am, I sang Headstrong for the longest time, but didn't know what group put the song out. I mean I do now, it's trapt, but you understand.  Though, my only really bad night was Friday night, when system of the down closed that night. Couldn't move, even though we were back by the sound stage. Even our usual spot was extremely crowded, which made me feel claustrophobic, which really sets me in aggravation mode. So late Friday I was in pain & aggravated due to not being able to move much. The rest of the weekend was good, 1 rain delay Sunday for about 2 hours, but still got to see the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl is like a fine wine, gets better with age 😍💜. Disturbed did not disappoint either, all the bands we fantast

Man, I must be darn wicked .. my sleep patterns are all messed up from my sanctuary weekend at Sonic Temple Festival. Up too late, up too early,,but the worst is not being able to fall asleep at night. I've had about 3 hours of sleep today, if I'm lucky, so I'm super agitated. Lack of sleep makes things WAY worse for me & anyone who has to deal with me. I make sure I apologize for being a grumpy butt, and do my best to try to stay calm. Though it doesn't always work out 🤷‍♀️, I'm human.. Okay, off I go, more laundry & domestic goddess stuff .. much love💜

Everything coming & going aggravates me.. except for a few people I'm surrounded by .. my love doesn't aggravate me like others do, nor does my children ... I will probably not posting much this weekend.. I'm escaping to the sanctuary of the Sonic Temple (formerly known as Rock on the Range) in Columbus. I'm super stoked to see Disturbed on Saturday night on the Monster main stage.. remember, we are human & very fallible .. say hi when you smile, could help someone feel better about themselves..

Trying to deal with a preschooler, and not being on meds is a tough thing to do. Yes, I did it before, but I was a lot younger & was on some medication for a year or so, before I realized it wasn't for me. I have to remind myself often, she is still learning the proper way to act & is only a little one, though speaks better than some kids twice as old. I will maintain my constant reminder of size, apologize always...

I'm failing at my posting daily .. I might get there, might not.. 🤷‍♀️ I'm human and very fallible. My aggravation level has been a bit high these last few days, I try my best not to get frustrated with my girl, but that doesn't always happen. So, I walk away, and take a minute to chill. My anxiety also gets a little bit high as well, which also makes things rough .. Anyway, that's my short & sweet post for today.. much love, don't be mean, everyone has a battle inside, be kind.

Well, I named it. So, today wasn't too terrible, not too much overthinking, considering workflow was super slow today, as far an internal communications go. Down time throws me in to overdrive on the ole thinking to much. My overdrive is worse when I know my beloved is struggling with his own feelings & work drama. I try to find ways to help, even if it's simply telling him, I'm here when he's ready to talk, or just giving him extra hugs. He uses natural plant based products for dealing with his anger issues & other issues he may have. And that's okay with me, as long as he's happy, I'm happy. And no, I've not lost myself by being that way with him, I just absolutely admire, respect, adore & love him that much. I am a simplistic person, I don't want too much, just simple living as best I can. The simplest thing can entertain me, i like keeping it that way.

Today is definitely better than yesterday, I made sure I didn't get as aggravated as I usually do when I get home. See I deal with folks that don't know how to clean up after themselves. I mean, I don't mind cleaning up after my youngest & her Daddy, but my stepdaughter is another story. She is old enough to do things herself, like clean up her own messes, but since she's been treated as if she can't do anything herself, it aggravates folks like me. Those who have been raised to clean up after themselves even at home, not just when you're visiting someone else's home, and do as you're told without fussing about it, oh and manners.  That's what we're working on with my youngest, learning to listen, using manners, cleaning up after herself, the same way I was taught by Mother & Dad. As well as, not whining when talking, and throwing temper tantrums. I hate when I hear, I'll give you something to cry for, no you won't, you're jus

So, music was always playing, even when I sat & did my homework at the kitchen table. I still love to listen to music while I'm working, people don't understand how I do it. It's easy, you adjust to it, it becomes a part of your routine, just like having the radio on when you drive. I can always listen to music, no matter what I'm doing, I love to listen music whenever I can. I get frustrated quite easily, maniac episodes are the worst, then add in the occasional anxiety with it, not fun. Then as you're dealing with those, add in some over thinking. It makes for a bad day all the way around.

So, I know I kind of went a little off topic the other night. Then yesterday, I didn't post at all, and I typed this last night & forgot to publish it🤦‍♀️, shame on me 🤷‍♀️😂. But anyway, let's get back to it. To continue a little more about my life & dealing with me, lol. I am a parent of 2, with quite the age difference between them, don't think you can truly plan when you're having kids, just saying. I was first diagnosed with my issues, in 2000, that's when I was introduced to all those lovely medicines I don't like. I figured out after about 6 months to a year, the lower doses stop working for me. Yeah, the Dr wanted to increase the mg, but I wasn't about that, I would make them find something else. And finally after the 3rd medication, I decided to find a different route on dealing with my issues. It just so happened that I discovered how calming music was for me, by accident. I've always had a love for music, since I was a little girl. M

This is 1 of those occasions I'm not sure what exactly to discuss, but I don't want to not post something. Let's me just tell you about my busy day, that started at 9 this morning. I was wondering whether or not to setup at a local event as a vendor, due to the whether forecasted to be quite rainy. But, I decided to go with it, was there a few hours, tore down when the rain came. Had about an hour & half break before my next event. Which oddly enough, is where I am right now, as I type this out, listening to teenagers who need to practice their vocal skills a bit more before performing, but I know they are doing their best. Anyway, oh, yeah I'm a seller for Origami Owl. Did I forgot to mention I can be SUPER random? No, well now you know, sorry.. lol . Anyway, I'll be here for a bit longer, and that's okay, enjoying the time with my other vendor friends. Hope you're having an awesome weekend.

Now, let's see if we can get back into things here. I've introed myself, a little background about why some men are creepers, my colorful grade school years of moving around and some of light into my mental health. What else to tell you about, if you remember I mentioned why I chose not to use medication for my sanity, lol. Now, just because I chose to not take medication, doe not mean, you should stop doing what you're doing, if you're on medication. I have found a alternative way to deal with my issues, it's called music. There is a lyric for everything that happens in life. Music is all kinds of things in our lives, for me, it's calming, an escape from frustration from the day. A way that helps me see things in a slightly different light each time I listen...

So, the last few days we've been having connection issues, and for someone who is does not taking medication for my mental disorder, it's been super frustrating. And especially since I know I was part of the reason I was having issues, not entirely, but definitely a helping hand.   SO, hopefully we can get back to some normalcy of posting again, & I will do my best not to screw it up. Hey, if you find my blog interesting, go to my contact page & drop a line or 2. This is a effort to help everyone know that there are some folks that are able to not use medication to help, but I find other outlets to channel my issues. Lol & please remember, I am grammatically challenged, so don't expect good grammar usage or politically correct speaking 😊

We moved a lot when I was growing up, when I sit & count how many grade schools I went to before 5th grade, it was 7, the 7th being where I finished 4th grade & finally stayed in that school system. Though, 1 of the 6 prior schools, I was only there 2 weeks, I still attended that school LOL. That's probably another reason I am the way I am, moving as much as we did, it is detrimental to kids. You finally get comfortable with everyone, & boom, you're moving again. Matter of fact, I went to 3 different schools my 4th grade school year, yeah, you have those bonds that form quickly & you keep in contact with some & lose others.   Between, what happened when I was 7, in the 2nd grade, and moving around so much, I think that is why I have attachment issues. I really have a hard time staying "attached" to people, even family, I'm not overly family oriented, will totally own that. I don't think dealing with my parents issues had anything to do with

So, let's get some back history to me, and probably 1 of the many reasons I am the way I am at my age. When i was about 7, it was the very early 1980s, my uncle, his wife, & my cousin had come to visit, they had a friend with them. Everyone had been drinking & smoking, and my Dad, being the responsible person he was, didn't want them driving back to their houses, so everyone stayed over night. My brother & sister both we're gone, sleeping over at their friends house, I was the only 1 home, I was picked to stay home to play with my little cousin.   As everyone slept, i remember being in my brother's room sleeping in the bed with my little cousin, my sister had latched our door shut & I couldn't reach the lock. And my uncle's friend came in & woke me, which I was kind of awake, because my little cousin had wet the bed. Anyway, dude proceeded to pick me up, like he was taking me into my room to change my clothes. Instead of changing me, he laid

The post I'm making in succession is copy/pasted from my wordpress blog, since wordpress & blogger doesn't want to play together & no, I dont feel like copy/pasting html code from the XML file .. 🤷‍♀️ .. my blog, my way .. yes, a bit tedious,   but oh well..

Hey, welcome to my twisted since of self. As I mentioned on my about me page, my name is Dustie, I live in a small rural area in Southern Ohio. The purpose of my page is to hopefully help others in their everyday life of dealing with some form of mental "illness". I put the illness in parentheses, because I don't see it as an illness, an illness to me, is like the flu, pneumonia or a HORRIBLE cold. I have a mental issue, an issue I choose not to be medicated over, that is a personal preference. Yes, I've been on meds, celexa, lexapro, zoloft, and I think that's it *insert thinking emoji here* . I don't like feeling like I'm in a walking haze, again, personal preference. I will ramble on & on, that's what I do, and again, like mentioned on my welcome/home page, I am grammatically challenged, so please, don't contact me over my grammar, or lack of, I am aware of it, thank you :) That's why I said it to begin with on the main page. Anyway, t